Sex claims made against hundreds of London police officers 

Long ago in the music halls, comedians would delight audiences with a song entitled ‘The laughing policeman’, about a jolly constable who joked and sang as he went about his duties.

Laughter is the last thing Britons would associate today with their policemen, especially the Metropolitan force, which operates in London.

In the latest of a series of shocking revelations, a Met spokesman said investigations were being made into 1,000 sexual and domestic abuse claims made against about 800 London officers.

The statement came after PC David Carrick pleaded guilty to 49 offences, including dozens of rapes and sexual charges, against 12 women over 20 years.

Particularly shocking was that Carrick had been investigated nine times for complaints made against him, but was allowed to continue in his career each time.

Meeting some of the women on dating sites, Carrick would control their lives, dictating where they slept, who they met and impounding their phones. He stopped some from talking to their own children and he urinated on others.

Said Police Commissioner Sir Mark Rowley, “We have failed and I am sorry. Carrick should not have been a police officer.”

He said all 45,000 Met policemen and staff would be rechecked for any offences which might have been missed.

Carrick will be sentenced in February.

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It’s an interesting game to play – what would you do if you won a huge sum of money? Of course, it will never happen to most of us, so the next best thing is hearing how people acted when they did win a huge sum of money… like Michael Walker of Newcastle upon Tyne in early January.

Michael’s first thought was to buy a pair of season tickets for his beloved Premier League football club, Newcastle United. 

At an estimated £4,000, that would still leave him something like £5,396,000 from the amount he won playing a slots game with bookmaker Betfred.

The win was Betfred’s biggest-ever payout and Michael’s stake was a mere one pound and 40 pence. “I just kept on winning and winning,” he said.

Michael, aged 32, a worker in a mental health unit, and his fiancee of seven years, Sherelle Pooley, are currently planning what to do with their jackpot.

Superior engagement ring 

Outlay listed so far includes a stair-lift for Michael’s grandmother so she can stay in her own home, an electric Tesla car (and driving lessons), a new suit for Michael (he has spotted one for £1,000), a new and superior engagement ring for Sherelle, and finally, a long-awaited wedding, with a reception at (where else?) Newcastle United’s exclusive banqueting suite.

Thereafter, first-class tickets to Jamaica for a Caribbean honeymoon, followed by a search back in the UK for a forever home in the countryside. 

“Six bedrooms will do very nicely,” says Michael.

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Black people in Britain have to wait up to six months longer for an organ transplant than the general population, but it has nothing to do with racism.

Although the best match comes from someone of the same ethnicity, black families are less likely to agree to donations for cultural reasons.

National Health Service officer Winnie Andongo said, “Me being from a black family in Africa, death and dying are just not normal things we discuss at dinner. So something like this is difficult because you’ve never discussed it really. Black people need to start having these conversations.”

NHS figures show that only two per cent of organ donors in 2021/22 were black. 

While waiting times for an organ have improved generally, black patients wait an average 735 days for a kidney.

By comparison, the waiting time for Asians is 650 days and for whites 488 days.

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Two road stories for the ladies….

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks to see her driving licence. 

Shaking her head testily, she says, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Yesterday you took my licence away and today you expect me to show it to you.”

A police driver is astonished to see a woman driving at high speed but also knitting at the same time. Driving up alongside, he yells, “Pull over.” 

“No,” she shouts, “it’s a scarf.”

…and one for the men:

A truck driver stopped at a roadside restaurant. The waitress brought him a hamburger, a cup of coffee and a piece of pie. 

As the truck driver was about to start eating, three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles. One grabbed the man's hamburger, the second drank his coffee and the third took his pie. 

The truck driver didn't say a word. He got up, put on his jacket, paid the cashier and left.

Sneered one of the bikers to the cashier, "Not much of a man, is he!" 

Replied the cashier, "Not much of a driver either. He just ran his truck over three motorcycles."

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