Police didn’t need forensic lab if gossip works just fine

The National Forensic Laboratory at the DCI Headquarters

The National Forensic Laboratory at the DCI Headquarters in Nairobi County during the facility’s official opening. 

Photo credit: PSCU

This week, four young boys were murdered in cold blood and their bodies handed over to wild animals to try out their taste buds with.

The issue has created a national outcry. Even political analysts have been forced to abandon their profession and meddle into the realm of crime scene investigations without the express authority of forensic anthropologists.

Those young men we’re now crucifying with our words didn’t drop from the international space station, and we aren’t going to disown them. They’re our flesh and bones, socialised in the Kenyan way of life, and those accusing fingers we’ve been wagging at them points back to us all.

Everyone agrees there’s a general breakdown of the rule of law in this country, but no one wants to stick their necks out to fix the mess because we’re all waiting for Jesus to come back and take us to the mansions he promised to prepare for us.

If our society has unanimously resorted to twisting the necks of those who wrong us, then it’s pointless arguing about the pros and cons of the death penalty.

The Judiciary should get the memo from the streets and send a note to Parliament to adjust our laws accordingly because we all have scores to settle with those pinching our hard-earned money by taking advantage of the Russia-Ukraine war to inflate commodity prices.

Today, if the government was to call a public parade and read out the list of Kenyans who have stolen one thing or the other, you can be sure this country will be left with only five people.

Fat cats

This country has peculiar citizens. On one hand we support the butchering of young men who knowingly step onto a banana peel, while on the other hand we issue threats to law enforcement agencies who dare to arrest fat cats walking with billions of public money juggling in their stomachs.

We beat street pickpockets like drums but when asked to accompany activists to go evict a corrupt government official, we conveniently remember that teargas isn’t fruit salad.

You’re celebrating someone’s child getting mauled by wild animals and not asking the police tough questions because something in your mind lies to you that you’re immune from the excesses of a rogue state emboldened by the breakdown of law and order.

The best way to fight crime is to prevent it from happening in the first place. That’s why the best defenders in world football are those with game intelligence that helps them avoid making a tackle. The moment you make a tackle it means you already made a positioning mistake and you’re trying to cover already lost ground.

The government stands accused of cheering in the stands when they should be providing a conducive environment for everyone to earn an honest living.

We understand the police are grossly understaffed, poorly trained, and have been given Oldowan tools to conduct cutting-edge forensic inquiry. We also understand they’re still unhappy at some people who think changing the colour of their official uniform is the most scientific way of hacking crime scene bottlenecks.

On behalf of all Kenyans, we’re asking for forgiveness if we ever wronged our police officers in our manner of speech, or inquiry about their degree certificates. Our only ‘ask’ is that they should treat criminal investigations in the same manner they treat those driving under the influence of alcohol. We wonder where all those questions they ask drunk drivers disappear to whenever they’re interrogating murder scenes.

It’s unfortunate the police already concluded what killed the young men even before investigations. Had the government consulted the police before building that forensic lab at the DCI Headquarters, they would’ve been told that all the police needed to investigate crime were their eyes and ears which they already had.


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