Death announcement: Chapter Six is no more

Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua (left), President Dr William Ruto and Prime Cabinet Secretary nominee Musalia Mudavadi

Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua (left), President Dr William Ruto and Prime Cabinet Secretary nominee Musalia Mudavadi at State House in Nairobi on September 27, 2022, during the naming of Cabinet Secretaries.
 

Photo credit: Evans Habil | Nation Media Group

What you need to know:

  • On paper, looking for members of Kenya’s next Cabinet should be easier than finding a married man on a Kenyan dating app.
  • And so, it is with humble acceptance of God’s will that we announce the passing on of Chapter Six of the Constitution which occurred on Tuesday, September 27, 2022, at State House Teaching & Referral Hospital.
  • She was the loving guardian of 47 million Kenyans and a darling to all who worshipped the rule of law.

Before Aisha Jumwa was nominated as Kenya’s next Public Service Minister, she once served time in court exonerating herself from charges of murder and eating public money by false pretences.

Kenyans had hoped this wasn’t the public service record President William Ruto would consider while naming his Cabinet but, as the wise men from the East once warned us, it’s the hope that kills you.

On paper, looking for members of Kenya’s next Cabinet should be easier than finding a married man on a Kenyan dating app.

In 2010, we lined up to solve the mathematical equation for the President whenever he desired to work on his Cabinet.

We placed every important clue right under his nose, all that remained was for him to shine the Chapter Six torch against the map of Kenya, and those who passed the integrity test would automatically glow in the dark.

Only that Dr William Ruto doesn’t like his assignments done for him. He’s a hands-on grafter who prefers the hard way; the hustler way.

PhD students who criticise those who take this path less travelled while solving issues are hard-pressed to explain to the board of examiners why Dr Ruto has risen so far, so fast. They’re quickly reminded that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

2010 Constitution

Putting the country’s weight on the shoulders of one man is precisely what the 2010 Constitution intended to vaccinate the President from.

We had hoped that by passing a progressive Constitution, the President would make fewer phone calls to his personal doctor complaining of backache, and in the long term withdraw the savings from his medical insurance to plough back to the Hustler Fund.

By overlooking the requirements in Chapter Six while appointing his Cabinet, President Ruto has essentially alerted the Judiciary to be on the lookout for cases challenging the suitability of his nominees, thereby slowing down the dispensation of other cases, and setting MPs against the public who are already asking them to remember to share the leniency fee they shall be given to pass the list, after pretending to ask tough questions during vetting. 

Kenyans have no beef with anyone rewarding those who stood by them when they were going through the oven.

The Bible is clear that people should eat from the sweat of their brow. And those who laboured for Dr Ruto’s win have the Biblical right to line up at the State House lawns for a share of the food they helped cook.

But there’s a small problem; the Constitution is categorical on the limits of the food they should be served from the public buffet. 

Look at Moses Kuria—one of only two people who have the inborn ability to set pulses racing whenever he’s in front of a camera.

His decaying tongue has previously said demeaning words that risked Balkanising the country. As Trade Minister, we had started wondering how he was going to market the warmth of the people he had previously denigrated, only to remember that with prayers nothing is impossible.

And so, it is with humble acceptance of God’s will that we announce the passing on of Chapter Six of the Constitution which occurred on Tuesday, September 27, 2022, at State House Teaching & Referral Hospital.

She was the loving guardian of 47 million Kenyans and a darling to all who worshipped the rule of law.

Meetings in preparation for the burial ceremony are being held at her Nairobi home in Parliament Buildings beginning next week.

The cortege will leave Parliament Road for an overnight vigil at the Office of the President and burial in her father’s farm at the Supreme Court of Kenya Building.

“Mum, you have fought a good fight, you have finished the race and kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Till we meet again.

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