I’ll be vying for MP is as ‘mad’ as I’m quitting my job to go into business

It is that time every five years when every middle-aged man is at risk of “spongefication” of the brain tissue aka Mad-about Parliament disease. Proof of this condition manifests in the sudden declaration, over Sunday lunch, that they will be vying for the position of leader of their home constituency, that is, MP in 2022.

“I must answer to the divine calling to be MP” is the thought running through their minds. “Once I am MP, I will be able to spread my wisdom gained over many years climbing the corporate ladder. The masses will be finally able to appreciate what my manager has known from many reviews – I am exceptional. I am a one-rated employee. I am a superstar.

Dear friends and family members, here is some language to help temper their ambitions.

Dear wife, when you are being asked to co-sign the refinancing of the mortgage – the one you have just finished paying after 20 years – you may want to point out that statistically speaking, there will be on average eight candidates on the ballot paper and needless to say only one will succeed.

Of course, expect the counter to that argument to be: “Baby, high risk, high reward! Do you know MPs earn over one million shillings per month, plus allowance…” And of course this is just the beginning. He is likely to be soon promoted to head a parliamentary committee, then Cabinet Secretary, or perhaps Deputy President. And from there its only one hop away to the presidency.

Language of business

In this amazing transformation, the hitherto sensible and successful family man and career executive has suddenly developed delusions of grandeur. The prospective candidate goes on to exhort his dear supporters, followers, family members to empty their pockets and give generously. It will be worth it.

In the language of business and investments, the next sensible question is: What is the return on investment on this contribution to your political future ? (Note: According to a 2021 paper, “The Cost of Politics in Kenya”, it takes approximately Sh22 million to campaign for this prized seat. )

Well, says the erstwhile candidate: “You need to spend money to make money… if you know what I mean.” The villagers will require some “Jirongos” to make sure they tick the “correct” name. Maybe buy a mbuzi or two to ensure they admire your UMD (Urbane Magnanimous Demeanour). Eh, and don’t forget the marketing materials printer needs advance payment and the team must have SUVs to get around the muddy rural roads.

And building castles in air can also happen in business context.

Do you remember the quail eggs? People were taking loans from their Saccos to fence off a corner of their property where they could salivate over the “Benjamins” to be earned as they shovelled and cleaned the cages of their youthful birds every night after work.

Politics of entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurs, known in some quarters as “hustlers”, can have the same blind spots as prospective politicians. This, in more learned terms, is called the Dunning – Kruger effect. This is a form of cognitive bias in which people with relatively low abilities exaggerate their own abilities (the reverse is also true, more competent people underestimate themselves).

Is it really a good idea to ditch one’s eight to five job to start a bakery? Especially when there are many other bakeries and some of them have been keeping Kenyans healthy since before independence and the new entrants even come with multi-seeded spelt bread... ensuring a broad range of tastes are catered for . 

Both start-ups and the johnny-come-lately candidate on the ballot box can do their market research. If one of the other prospects in the polls has been MP three times before, and each time winning by a landslide, hmm... take note of the probabilities. Just as not all of us can be MPs (in fact only 290 out of an eligible adult population of tens of millions), not everyone can become the head of a business with more than one employee.

And a good CEO does not necessarily translate to a constituency leader. If all CEOs are good leaders and all politicians are good leaders, does not equate to all CEOs make good politicians.

It’s a gamble whether you call it the politics of entrepreneurship or the entrepreneurship of politics – both are a dicey game. You might be better off investing in your child’s education or the national hobby, that “kaplot” !

The author is the managing partner of C.Suite Africa, a management consultancy