Why men who rape, defile must undergo therapy
Experts say a man molested while growing up and has never managed to get help, will always want to make someone else feel the pain they felt.
What you need to know:
- Instead of putting him in prison for years, let him get therapy.
- Trauma not healed is transferred.
Recently, James Ouma, founder of Lifesong Kenya, had a dialogue with a man who had molested a teenager.
Lifesong is an organisation that gives hope to young men and boys, previously imprisoned. It breathes life into them through counselling, mentorship and equipping them with life and employable skills.
What he found out about the man was heart-breaking.
“He had also been molested in his childhood. So, what he was doing was just the same thing done to him many years ago,” he says.
“Instead of putting him in prison for years, let him get therapy. Otherwise, once released, he will repeat the same as he is still wounded.”
Daniel Kariuki, a counselling psychologist says perpetrators ought to be given opportunities to express themselves to understand the force driving them into the crime.
“Trauma not healed is transferred,” he says.
“A man molested while growing up and has never managed to get help, will always want to make someone else feel the pain they felt,” he emphasises.
Ego killed
With counselling, the violated men can get to accept themselves, a process important to healing the wounds.
“In many instances, a molested man feels guilty and their ego is killed. They go through a very difficult time but we usually tell them you are as precious as any other person,” notes the counselling psychologist.
“To reach the level of self-acceptance, they need counselling to help them accept that it (molested) happened and they cannot reverse what happened,” he adds.
Although data from Kenya Demographic and Health Survey (2022) show prevalence of sexual violence against men is lower than that of women, the fact is, men and boys are also vulnerable.
The analysis by Kenya National Bureau of Statistics established that seven per cent of men aged 15–49 have ever experienced sexual violence, compared to 13 per cent of women.
Additionally, four per cent of men experienced sexual violence in the 12 months preceding the survey, against the seven per cent of women.
